Bats vs. Supes: The List Also Rises

Unperturbed by thoughts of “Shouldn’t I wait until I’ve seen it?”, it’s . . .

The Top Eight Unexpected Events in Batman vs. Superman

8. The appearance of an actual character named Dawn, hailing from Justice, Michigan, who shows up in a news interview for about two seconds and is never heard of again.

7. Every time that guy who interrupts Bruce and Clark in the trailer shows up without getting punched in the face.

6. Superman gives Jimmy Olsen an Apple Watch to contact him with. (Honorable mention: the discovery that the new Batmobile is made by Honda.)

5. Millions of nerds completely fail to have an aneurysm at the sight of Ben Affleck as Batman. Wait, no, I saw that coming.

5. This version of Bruce Wayne explains that he chose his theme because he went to the Halloween store on November 3rd, and the choices were down to “bat” or “sexy ladybug”.

4. When Metropolis is destroyed again, its residents actually take the hint and move out to other cities that won’t be threatened by supervillains and natural disasters five times a year.

3. Superman and Batman slug it out over whether Black Widow or Pepper Potts is hotter, but stop fighting because they discover they both enjoy vacationing at Martha’s Vineyard.

2. Our first sight of stately Wayne Manor, revealing that because of the economy, it’s been downgraded to cozy Wayne half-of-a-Duplex.

1. Despite its title, most of the movie follows Lois Lane vs. The High-Pressure Toaster Salesman Of Doom.

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